Marriage is a lifelong journey and so it’s important that you prepare well for it before signing the dotted lines. And the litany of divorces rocking the society today are a more reason you should be extremely careful and do a lot of background work before saying ‘I Do’
- Do we really accept one another?
One of the most terrible things that can happen to anyone is to get married to someone who doesn’t accept you. The reason someone will appear special to another is because of the love they have for the person so if you don’t accept them for who they are of they don’t accept you for who you are, there is no point getting married to them. - Who am I?
It’s important to get a good understanding of what you hope to experience and achieve in life and what you truly like and don’t like before you bring someone else into your life. This is because you can’t know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are. - Am I happy to be in this relationship?
Being with someone who doesn’t make you feel happy – if being around them doesn’t make you happy, it is a red flag. Being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life … and fast.
Experts are of the view that if you’re always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.
- Am I feeling trapped?
It is important to ask yourself, if you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate? Do you like them or are they just good on paper? Are they what you want or they are just the available option? Red flag! - Is this relationship balanced?
It is important to ask if you both are on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support, effort, and sacrifice. If it is a parasitic relationship, you’ve got to wake up. - Why am I in this relationship?
It is a common adage that when a purpose of thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Are you in the relationship because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you’re scared to leave? - Where is this going?
Sadly, so many people date for the moment nowadays. Truth is that living in the now is great, but eventually, the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious. There has to be a defined roadmap of the relationship. - Do I really trust my partner?
No relationship or marriage can work without trust. It is important to honestly ask yourself if both of you trust each before committing to marriage. - Am I with a good person?
If he or she is not someone you can vouch for, you’ve got to put things in perspective before signing the dotted lines. - Am I attracted to my partner?
According to relationship experts, physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not attracted to just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on paper” isn’t fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected. - What is my gut telling me?
Except you just don’t want to admit it, there is always that intuition that tells you something about the relationship.
Do you feel like this relationship is healthy and moving at a healthy pace in a positive direction? You need to pay attention to that inner voice.
OCT. 2021
