Irrespective of who you are or what you mean to people, there are certain attitude that can drive them away from you. Toxic behaviors can usually lead to damage in relationships, professional success, personal well-being, therefore is impacts almost every aspect of our existence. Studies have identified the following as some toxic behaviors that can make people run from you.
1. Negativity
More often than not, people who always dwell on the negative aspect of every situation tend to make excuses for everything. And when this becomes a habit, people begin to avoid you without you knowing it. Society is inclined toward this kind of behavior, and while venting, complaining and whining are all normal actions, condoned and accepted as mechanisms of expression, excess will determine people to distance themselves from the source.
Truth is that being obsessed with negative thoughts brings people down, constant bitterness and sarcasm will make the environment unbearable, holding on to past traumas or building up negative emotions are sure paths toward bein and if you recognize it in someone else, either try to help them change their perspective or distance yourself from them, otherwise it will end up consuming you as well.
2. Need for constant validation
People who dont know who they are tend to seek constant validation and allow others to define their worth, instead of analyzing and discovering it for themselves. Experts are of the view that trying to boost self-esteem through outside measures of success, accomplishments and the opinions of others is a bad idea that leads to low confidence and even depression and continuously bugging others for validation can turn them off.
3. Victimization
It is funny how some persons tend to victimize themselves in every situation. They always have the notion for every ill thing that happens to them, someone is responsible. They have an endless number of complaints and apparently, theres nothing they can do about the bad luck that keeps landing on their heads, so they go on and on about it until others feel the need for space and put some distance between them and the crybaby. While it is true there we cannot control many aspects of our lives, a negative and helpless attitude prevents our ability to take action and stops us from making progress.
4. Jealousy and envy
There is a common adage that says Jealousy is the root of all evil. Jealousy and envy make the person who feels them just as uncomfortable as those who notice them. While it is okay to admire or desire to have the same possessions, position, traits as someone else, if this inclination becomes all-consuming and determines you to make nasty comments, gossip, scheme and plot, it will poison you own mind and soul, as well as make others take distance.
5. Excessive reactivity
Even Psalms 78:38 says God is emotionally intelligent. The inability to manage your emotions makes everyone feel ill at ease. Truth is that being an emotional rollercoaster puts people on their guard and makes them wary of getting too close to you because they never know what will happen next and they eventually grow tired of walking on eggshells around you. Research have shown that everybody gets their patience spread thin sometimes, and we all fly off the handle once in a while, but if it becomes the norm, rather than the exception, you should try exhibiting some emotional intelligence and take control of your wild emotions.
6. Cruelty
Perhaps, this is one of the most ill-fated attitudes that could easily turn people off. Negative criticism, judging people, being superficial, not respecting other peoples boundaries, these are all indicators telling those around that they can no longer pay the price for this relationship and would be better off without you. It is been proven that the inability or refusal to feel empathy, to exhibit compassion and to put yourself in someone elses shoes creates situations where people feel the need to walk away, so as to escape the source of their discomfort.
The good thing is that whether you detect them in yourself or someone else, these toxic behaviors can be changed. You have to be intentional about changing them. It takes willpower and discipline.
AUGUST 2021
