Without mincing words, cheating in relationships and even in marriages has almost become a norm. More worrying is the fact that some persons cheat and still have the nerves to rub it on their partner’s face without considering the persons feelings.
Among others, marriage counselors have identified the following as some of the reasons for cheating.
Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: More often than not, people tend to be committed where they feel happy and satisfied and when the reverse becomes the case, cheating becomes the way out.
Feeling unappreciated: Experts are of the view that feeling undervalued or neglected can lead to infidelity. When both partners work, women often carry the brunt of the housework and childcare. In this case, the affair validates the person’s sense of worth. On the flip side, however, feeling neglected may be related to unrealistic expectations of a partner rather than true neglect.
Opportunity: It is worrying that we are in a time where people are looking for opportunity to have sex irrespective of who the person is. Periods of absence, whether traveling for work or serving in the military provide greater opportunities for affairs to occur. Reality is that absence allows a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being discovered or may lead to loneliness and resentment.
Poor boundaries: Research have shown that poor personal boundaries, or the limits we place on other people as to what we find acceptable or unacceptable, can also increase the chance that an affair will occur. People who find it hard to say no (being overly compliant or “people pleasers”) may find themselves in an affair even if it wasn’t what they desired in the first place.
Lack of commitment:Â A 2018 study found that people who are less committed to their relationship are more likely to cheat.
Boredom: As flimsy as this is, we are in a dispensation where people want to try new things every day and the other partner begins to fall out of the excitement, they begin to explore new things and infidelity sets in. Men and women looking for the thrill of the chase and the excitement of newfound love may be more likely to cheat.
Revenge: Sadly, people cheat out of revenge. If one partner has had an affair or has damaged the partner in some way, the offended partner may feel a need for revenge resulting in an affair.
There is no reason to want to get married to someone if you can’t be totally committed to them especially in the area of faithfulness.
