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Home Relationships

Signs and remedies of a one-sided relationship, by Stanley Ugagbe

by Nigerian Canadian Newspaper Canada
January 28, 2022
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Whether friendship, relationship or any form of ‘ship,’ the reality is that if it is one-sided, it it’s going to die a natural death sooner than later. By definition, a one-sided relationship is a situation where one person invests disproportionate amounts of time, energy, and resources into a relationship, as opposed to their counterpart.

Experiences have shown that a one-sided relationship often lacks the healthy balance required for the relationship to be stable whether that be the amount of effort, energy, communication, financially or emotionally. If one person keeps exerting the energy and the other person is not reciprocating, such a relationship is headed for a shipwreck.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that everything in the relationship needs to be split equally in order to function. It means that there must some sort of reciprocation from the other part. Relationships are about the give and take—compromise—and require such to function properly.

The following are some signs of a one-sided relationship.
You have to always initiate the communication. Are you always the one reaching out? Do you do all the calling, texting and date planning day-in-day-out? And if you don’t call or text, you won’t get any. There is no other name to this other than a one-sided relationship. Even though some people are skilled at communication than others, you should not be the only one putting in the energy for your relationship to remain afloat – it’s called a relationship and not a one-man affair. You don’t have to beg for time or affection because sooner than later, you will be frustrated out of love.

Another major red flag to watch out is your partner’s unwillingness to return the favour. If your partner always asks you for a favor no matter how busy you are but they don’t reciprocate when you need their favor, that is a sign of a one-sided relationship. This is because in a healthy relationship, each partner should be willing to help the other.

Choosing friends over you is another sign of a one sided-relationship. Does your partner always go out with their friend without extending an invitation to you? Even though people need time to relax with their friends, it should be a thing of concern when don’t they don’t always want you around when they’re with their friends.

Also, if you’re always the only one apologizing, there is need for concern. There may be times that you may be one that offended your partner and need to topologies, but if you also have to keep apologizing for your partner’s wrongdoings, it’s a major red flag. If your partner is always twisting your words, that is surely a toxic one-sided relationship.

Similarly, if you are always justifying their actions, you may need to think it over again. Do you always have to explain to your family why partner didn’t show up for an appointment? Do you always have to make excuses for him when it’s glaring they are being intentional and know what they’re doing? Everyone has bad days but when your partner’s bad days become regular than normal and you keep making excuses for them, you may need to assess the relationship again.

More so, you don’t discuss goals. Where is the relationship headed? Do you intend to get married? Do you intend to build a family together? Are you on the same wavelength? Do you both agree on what you want? Is it a situation of let everybody do what they want? That is a clear sign of a one-sided relationship. While it’s okay to prioritize certain things independently, there is no point of staying in a relationship where you both don’t have anything in common.

It has also been proven that a one-sided relationship is one in which your partner hides their bad habits. If your partner has the culture of hiding their bad habit that you don’t approve of, it shows lack of respect for you and your feelings.

Intimacy is an integral part of a relationship and if your partner no longer crave intimacy, you should be worried about the state of the relationship. When you notice that you both are no longer connecting the way you used to and your partner is not doing anything to rekindle it, there is a need to ask questions and worry.

As stated earlier, the are some of the signs of a one-sided relationship. Even though some relationships experiencing some of the issues highlighted are irreparable, reality is that things can get normal again if both partners are willing to work on their differences and make it work.

Experts have recommended that to curb a one-sided relationship, set aside time to communicate without distractions, discuss the issues with an open heart and make conscious effort to make the relationship work.

Also, take time to discuss goals for the relationship and your future. This doesn’t mean you have to know all the answers but it will have both see if you’re on the same wavelength and if things can work for you.

Another important to do is to reflect and ask yourself some crucial questions. Ruminate on your relationship to ascertain what is best for you both.

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