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Home Relationships

How to be a good friend

by Nigerian Canadian Newspaper Canada
November 2, 2021
in Relationships
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Introduction

The definition of a true friend is someone that always has your back even in difficult situations. A good friend ensures you feel loved, supported and always safe.  A good friend will help you stay out of harm’s way by leading you away from bad situations. We get to choose our friends and that’s why it’s important to choose the ones with the best qualities. Below, we have listed some of the most important attributes of being a good friend.

Good friends listen
One of the best attributes you can possess as a good friend is the ability to listen keenly. Listen to what your friend is saying and don’t interrupt. You will be able to give a proper response after you understand the message.

Support for each other
A good friend will offer to help you during your time of need. All you need is support when you’re feeling down and a good friend should give you that. At times, all you need is a shoulder to lean on and a good friend should provide that.

Trustworthiness
Some of the characteristics of a trustworthy friend include: being dependable, keeping promises and keeping secrets. There is no friendship without trust. Trust allows you to feel safe and to show your vulnerability. Once you’re comfortable with your friend, then you can show your true self, and share your inner thoughts. People who trust each other have fewer suspicions of each other and are therefore less likely to have conflicts. Trust allows friends to build a long-lasting relationship.

Challenge each other
Growth is part of human development and a good friend should want you to grow. Good friends will correct you when you do something wrong, push you to achieve big things and challenge you when needed. Positive criticism is important but it should be done with a language of love and respect. This kind of honest communication with your friend allows you to grow together, helping each other along the way.

Listen to Christenna’s story: “I was arguing with a colleague at work when my friend Beth stopped me and said, ‘Simon, you got this one wrong, I’m always on your side but you’ve overstepped on this one. Take some time and ask yourself, would you like someone else to treat you like this?’ That moment has always remained in my mind because she was speaking from her heart.”

Be attentive towards little things
Pay close attention in order to read between the lines.  A good friend knows your heart and can therefore tell when something isn’t right. For instance, if you ask your friend how she is doing and she simply replies with “Okay” then you can immediately suspect that she is not okay. Look at her facial expressions and her mood.  When you understand the heart of your friend, then you will grow a deeper relationship.

Spending time with each other should be a priority
The modern day lifestyle makes it hard to find free time and that’s why every moment you spend with true friends is sacred. If you want to grow your friendship then it’s important to share quality time and to have shared experiences that bring back positive memories. A good friend will prioritize spending time with you. Engage in fun activities that strengthen your bond. For instance, you can watch a game together, go swimming or watch a movie.
A good friendship should also be low maintenance. This means that a good friend should always understand when it is difficult to spend time together because of a busy schedule. Many longtime friends say that they reconnect easily even when they haven’t seen each other in a longtime, it’s almost like no time has passed.

Protect each other
You should stand up to be counted even when the situation doesn’t benefit you. A true friend will do the right thing. For instance, as a good friend you should stick up your neck to protect your friend if you feel that he or she is being mistreated by other people. It might be shutting down rumors about them, ensuring they get home safe, or something else.

Acceptance
You should always accept your friends just the way they are even if your life is moving in different directions. True friends accept that you have to make decisions that are right for you; they don’t have to agree with everything you do but they understand that you’re living life by your own terms.

Being nonjudgmental
A nonjudgmental friend doesn’t instill insecurity and self-doubt in you. Your friend should make you feel confident in yourself. Nonjudgmental friends always work hard to see things the way you see them.

OCT. 2021

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