“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”Matt 19: 5-6
The injunction here not to put ‘the marriage asunder ‘is not necessarily for outsider but shareholder and stakeholder in the marriage!
I remember vividly about 36 years ago one of my friends got married in Lagos and thereafter we traveled back to Warri where we were living. Then the woman called the new husband by the first name: “Jack, I hope you heard what the preacher said during the sermon, ‘let no man , not let no woman put the marriage asunder’”. I replied for the husband “ the marriage is a covering for you, it is not advantageous for you to put it asunder”
The divorce rate in the body of Christ is growing everyday. The Hollywood celebrities that have the notoriety of quick divorce and re- marriage are doing everything to keep the pace by which divorce rate is going on in the body of Christ. It is as if the church is competing with the unbeliever in this ignoble venture. Let us put a stop to it. Listen to me, did the bible not clearly say offence shall come! So that your spouse offended you is no excuse for divorce.Did the bible not warn against fornication and adultery, so it is already included in the calculation though not encouraged.Did the bible not warn against hardness of heart?
Why do we take pleasure in doing what God hates and think it will not have consequences – “I hate divorce “ God says! Malachi 2:16
“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.Matt 19:12,
Christianity is a call to a higher standard of living. If you don’t know ask your neighbour who is an unbeliever. S/He will tell you if you say you are a Christian , expect some high level of responsibilities. God says above you have the option of making yourself a eunuch. That is practicing celibacy, the like of life Paul lived, if you choose to marry, stay married!
This is what the Holy Spirit impressed on me this morning to help you in your marital journey:
1. Salvage your marriage not damage your marriage. Salvage your marriage not throw away your marriage for flimsy excuses.
2. Look inwards see your faults, correct your faults. Stop focusing on the faults of your spouse .You are suppose to be helpmates to one another not hunt-mates. Eccl 4:8-12.
3. Stop putting emphasis of repair and correction on your partner. Repair yourself and fix your marriage.
4. Marriage is not a trial and error it is a life full of errors but solvable errors. Marriage is a life of investment. Courtship and dating period are your trial and error days.At that point you can use your eraser or wipe out. The day you said ‘ I do ‘ you committed yourself to that investment. Any successful investment commands and demands high level of sacrifice for it to succeed. Your own cannot be different. It is too late to back out.
5. Marriage is not a contract, or purchase of goods or items where you can buy and if discovered not functioning well you return to the seller. Marriage is a covenant where irrespective of how the other part is working on it you maintain your part of the covenant. That is God’s perspective .
6. Tolerance, endurance,patience, long suffering , forbearance, forgiveness,consideration, love , prayer, submission, fellowship and compromise are key element of marriage if you don’t have them go and buy them without money (Isaiah 55:1) they are available through the bible and apply them to your marriage.
7. Walter Trobisch said – ‘love is a feeling to be learnt’ You go to school to learn engineering , accountancy and the rest, the church is a place you go to learn principles of marriage, home building, how to love your wife, how to submit to your husband, how to raise your children, how to relate with your in-laws, how to live well in your neighbourhood. You are to be a good example not a bad smelling egg.
8. Before you divorce that your spouse, think twice what you are embarking upon, for instance your are initiating generational curses upon your coming generation, because you are laying an evil foundation. Before you divorce think of untold innumerable and uncountable problems, difficulties, and challenges you are launching yourself and your children to.
9. Note this, divorce is not a solution to character, spiritual, physical, financial or spiritual issue. It is a diversion. It is a postponement and creation of many more complex problems. So solve the problem you are facing now. A dry fish is difficult to bend. The problem or challenge you have now is a fresh fish which by God’s grace and a little sense of responsibility you can easily solve.
10. In every marriage, there are marriage killers, just like in every home there are cockroaches, mice, rodents,spiders and their cobwebs, you don’t abandon your house because of them you kill them, so kill the marriage killers, anger, infidelity, lack of communication, incompatibility, abnormal behaviour, drunkenness,inappropriate behaviours, prayerlessness,lying, lack of respect and confidentiality for one another, mismanagement of funds,indiscretion, laziness,indolence, insolvency and your peculiar pecuniaries.Don’t kill your marriage.
11. There is something they call change. Change has never being permanent. Don’t tell your spouse that is the way you were born, that is the way you are wired, that is the way everybody does it in you previous family .No. What your spouse is complaining or ‘nagging’ about his hurting him/her. The fowl has never and will never enjoy a knife on its neck. Nobody does. So make effort to change to please God and your spouse. The Holy Spirit is not only about speaking in tongue in church, but to generate power for you to make a change that will be profitable for you especially in your marriage.The Holy Spirt in this generation does not just tap your head and go, the Holy Spirit indwells. So there is a power in you to make the changes.Incubate it, exercise it and release it for the use of your marriage. Holy Spirit changed Moses, David, Peter, Paul, Amos Dada, he can change you. Get the application on your knees it is not online or on FB or other social media. Rom 8. 26.
12. Before you forward this write up to that sister/brother who you think will definitely benefit from this, apply this to yourself. This word is not a cutlass it is a sword it has two edges!
In conclusion, if you have divorced go and make amends. If you are in the process of divorce stop it, even if it is already in the court you can stop it.If you have not divorce don’t go that route. If you are not yet married don’t rush to it because you are not allowed to rush out.Pay the price for a successful marriage no matter how costly.One question I cannot answer is whether a divorcee will make heaven or not because I know there is no marriage in the Christian heaven.Shalom.–
O taste and see that the Lord is good.(Psalm 34:8). I have tasted and found that the Lord is good. I do testify that the Lord is good.Join me to taste him.
www.cacbethel.com
www.igoeministry.com
Subscribe:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dramosdada
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amos.dada.5
Twitter: https://twitter.com/dada_amos
Periscope: https://www.pscp.tv/dada_amos/1djGXpvzkjdGZ
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dada-amos
